Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true.
I finally got to see something I’ve always wanted to witness live.
I finally saw someone get hit by a car.
Nailed, this guy got hit right in the hip.
That’s your center of gravity and that sends you flipping through the air
like Eddie Gordo from Tekken when someone doesn’t know
how to do combos and they’re just hitting the buttons randomly.

I always just miss it, right?
I’m looking, and then I go to order my twisty cone.
*Collision noise*
Oh what, what happened?!
The guy got hit? No.
I just went to order my twisty cone and I missed it.

This guy gets nailed.. this is the setup.
He’s walking down the street and he’s doing that whacky speed walk…
he’s got the buds in his ears, and I don’t know what you’re listening to
that makes you do this fucking walk.
Maybe just a tambourine or maracas.
You’re just.. *shookashookashookashooka*.
So Johnny Tambourine is walking down the street,
he’s got the “not a good time to cross” signal.
As he’s going across, I see the car *car noise* coming down the street.
When I see the car coming, I’m like…
“Yesssss finally. don’t talk to me. don’t talk to me I gotta see this.”
*collision noise*

The guy goes flying into the air, his shoes flew off.
When you get hit by a car, sometimes your shoes will fly off.
Sometimes your pants will come off.
But I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion on this strike.

And before I go any further, here’s the best part.
This is how he lands on the other side of the car
which was a dodge by the way,
and I thought that was kind of funny and ironic.
I just — I got a little humor out of that.